Meeting our Miracle

On April 7th one of my many physicians decided to have a pow wow to discuss my condition. After 3 days of progressive contractions she was concerned. She argued that the acceptable parameters of what was "safe" in my situation kept being extended. She wanted to review the benefits and the risks of allowing me to stay pregnant until our scheduled c-section date. I already knew what the decision would be, but they sent in Dr. P to deliver the news.

The decision was to move up the delivery date so we could safely deliver our baby in a planned controlled environment instead of running the risk of having an emergency situation.

I have never seen Greg more excited in my entire life. It was adorable. This guy could barely stand still, he could not wait to meet our daughter. I was equally thrilled but much more anxious about delivering a baby 5 weeks early.

It all happened very fast. The nurse woke me up at 7 am the next morning and said we would be going into surgery at 7:30. Not a lot of time to gather my thoughts...maybe this was a good thing. I quickly got up and washed my face, took a final picture of my belly, and sat quietly savoring the feeling of little feet dancing in my belly.

The OR was cold, just what I remembered from nursing school. I knew what was coming but it is all very different when you are the patient. The pinch of the spinal was tolerable but what followed the spinal, I could have never predicted. They laid me back on the table and started with the poke test.

"Do you feel this..." Yes.

"Where?" On the right.

"Is it sharp or dull?" Sharp.

Five minutes later and the same set of questions. The anesthesiologist started tilting the table in all directions trying to get the medication to distribute evenly. After twenty minutes, he announced he wanted to use general anesthesia and put me to sleep. I protested. I had been waiting a very long time to meet my daughter so I asked for 5 more minutes. Finally, I passed the poke test.

I did not feel the incision but I was shocked at what I did feel as a large man, known as the surgical assistant, put all his weight on top of me in an effort to delivery my baby. I was being crushed. I had no idea how to judge if what I was feeling was normal but the anesthesiologist could tell I was in distress. Finally, I heard my baby cry. I will always remember it being a very sweet sound. Nothing like the typical cry I had imagined. It was so beautiful.

That is the last thing I remember. The anesthesiologist made the decision to give me medication and put me to sleep. I was told that they brought the baby over to me but I do not remember seeing her. I was told in the recovery room that my spinal "did not take well" and that this can happen to some people. I was given a patient controlled analgesia (PCA) pump that allowed me to receive pain medication every 10 minutes if I needed it. I needed it.

It was tough to keep my eyes open with all the medication on board but I remember telling the nurse in the recovery room that I was ready to see my baby several times. She told me the standard time in the recovery room was 2 hours. After 45 minutes she finally agreed to release me so I could visit my daughter in the NICU.

Gwyn was so perfect. She was tiny but absolutely perfect. I immediately saw my husband in her sweet face and later found a few of my features too. She was safe and she was healthy and that was all I needed to know.

Just a little update...Gwyn is still at the hospital in a step down nursery for babies who are stable but working on feeding or growing. We are still working on the eating part. Because of her young age, Gwyn gets super exhausted with feedings. But she is becoming more awake and alert everyday. She has been taking full bottles by herself for the last 24 hours! We will not be given any time frame for when she will come home but we hope it is very very soon. Please carry us in your thoughts :)

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